The Girl Is Phat: Chocolate Pop-Tart Casserole

Recollections and Recipes from an Oreo/Pop-Tart Woman

That is the primary in a sequence of occasional mini-blogs from a suspense creator who grew up on Oreos and Pop-Tarts.

Apparently, all of us have an emotional reset button. I realized this by studying my on-line horoscope on at this time. Not that I counsel basing any type of emotional choice on what a pc thinks, however it’s eerie how related my yahoo horoscope and I appear to be today.

After checking my horoscope, I stupidly confronted down my fears and stepped on the size. I knew it was going to be unhealthy. I have never stepped on a scale for a minimum of a 12 months as a result of it is about as fulfilling as sticking a fork in my eye. Anyway, I stripped down utterly, even considered plucking my eyebrows to save lots of just a few ounces, however realized even my eyebrow hair, Eddie-Munster-like as it’s, most likely does not weight that a lot.

I stepped on (silly, clunky, dramatic music please), eyes closed. Slowly, I opened one eye and peeked.

After the preliminary shock wore off, I developed a sudden case of Tourette’s and considered really sticking a fork in my eye. (I am having a tough time discovering my emotional reset button right here people, kay? Anybody know the place it’s? Does it seem like a stomach button? A giant toe?)

I had an epiphany. That yoga class concept I had, the place individuals twist themselves into pretzels, after which eat cheese-covered pretzels, most likely not marketable.

I, luckily, joined Weight Watchers two weeks earlier than I stepped on the size and started a 10-week coaching program with the purpose of working a 5K within the fall. However this sort of weight acquire (17 kilos above my worst imagined weight) simply does not appear regular.

Now I do know I can not blame all the things on sitting all day lengthy in a cubicle, or on my Pennsylvania Dutch ancestors, God bless them, who apparently had an unhealthy attachment to lard and sausages. I must be taught to care for myself once more. That is going to be more difficult than one may assume, as I’m the anti-Betty Crocker. I’ve really blown issues up within the kitchen. And burnt macaroni and cheese. And baked sugar cookies with out the sugar, which is type of vital in a recipe with the phrase “sugar” in its title. For the primary 10 years of my life, I assumed Oreo Cookies have been one of many most important meals teams. I’m not even kidding.

Severely, my cooking is method scarier than when Harrison Ford, taking part in a police detective within the film Witness, goes undercover deep in Amish nation and discovers chow chow, shoofly pie, and schnitz and knepp.

Take my Phat Chocolate Pop-Tart Casserole, for instance:

1 field of Kellogg’s Sizzling Fudge Sundae Pop-Tarts (What? They supply like 7 important nutritional vitamins and minerals and no trans fats or ldl cholesterol!)

1 cup of butter

1 cup of brown sugar

40 saltine crackers (use fat-free selection if it makes you are feeling higher)

12 oz. of chocolate chips

Cowl cookie sheet with aluminum foil. Line saltines on foil. Soften butter and add sugar. Cook dinner till boiling, stirring. Boil 3 minutes. Pour butter/sugar combination over crackers and unfold. Bake at 400 levels for five minutes. Take away from oven (duh). Pour 12 ozpackage of chocolate chips over combination and unfold with the again of a spoon over all crackers. To assist soften chips, cowl with one other cookie sheet for a couple of minutes. Break up Pop-Tarts and sprinkle over the chocolate. Refrigerate for two hours. Then break up and eat!

PS: I’ve by no means really made this utilizing the Pop-Tarts. However I guess it might be good.

From precise Pop-Tart field: Attributable to attainable danger of fireside, by no means go away your toasting equipment or microwave unattended. If pastry is overheated, frosting/filling can change into extraordinarily scorching and will trigger burns. DUH???

Energy per serving: Who cares.

Fats g: Why do you need to know?

Ldl cholesterol: At the very least the Pop-Tarts haven’t any ldl cholesterol!

When one thing comprises Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Sodium Stearoyl Lactate, DATEM, Yellow No. 6 Lake, Blue No. 2 Lake, Crimson No. 40 Lake, Yellow No. 5 Lake, it needs to be good. And breakfast IS a very powerful a part of the day. Thanks for letting me get that out of my system.

By the best way, I’ve a e book signing tonight in Doylestown Pennsylvania on the Doylestown Bookshop ( Do you know August 4 is Nationwide Champagne Day? Cheers!

Ann Kelly []

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